Falling For Love
by Take Me To My Fragile Dreams
Summary: 'Because sometimes you just can't help who you love, even if you'd be better off never loving that person in the first place.' All Human -Requested by/Dedicated to: SecretlyANinja98
1. I Have This Dream

**Requested by/Dedicated to:** SecretlyANinja98 I hope I put enough childhood memories in here. -is nervous-

**Well first off let me just say, kudos to you who've seen the word count of this sucker and still clicked on it. Welcome to my demon child. ;)**

**This was... God this was challenging. Very very challenging. I've re-read this various times to work out all the glitches and such and I can't tell you how many times I nearly cried and screamed at myself for doing this. Now don't get me wrong, there is happiness in here but the angsty parts... Well they have allot of Alec's pain/emotion in them. **

**An example? Think about what Alec felt towards Jace and multiply that by about 10 because he actually has a chance with Magnus what with the whole same sexuality thing going on and you've got the level of angst in this story. Still want to continue? I won't blame you if you turn back now.**

**Achem. This son of a bitch is over 30 pages in Microsoft. Yes. *nods* I have officially beaten my record by like... Allot. (Because I'm to lazy to do the math alright?)**

**Oh! ALSO! No hate please! I've already gotten several flames on several of my stories and just stop it all right? If you don't like the story and have nothing nice to say then just leave. I don't need your disrespecting bullshit stressing me out even more than I already am alright? If you see a mistake or something you thought didn't fit or could be made better tell me politely. AGAIN: Politely! I'm a human being too and I have feelings.**

**(I apologize to my readers for shoving this rant in your eyes but most of the people who've been leaving the flames have not had the nerve to log in. Again sorry. :(**

**Good luck! ;) (*snickers* almost put 'good lick' there XD)**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own CC's characters nor the songs included! I only own the plot and writing! :)

* * *

F**a**l_l_in**g**

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .For

_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .L_**o**v_e_

_"Is it possible that the person I've been searching for has been in front of me all along...?"_

* * *

"_Stripped_ and **polished**, I am _new_, I am **fresh**.

I am _feeling_ so ambitious, you _and_ I, flesh to **flesh**.

Cause _every_ **breath** that _you_ will **take** when _you_ are sitting **next** to _me_-

-Will bring _life_ into my deepest **hopes**.

What's _your_ **fantasy**? (_What's_ your, **what's** your)

Cause I was _born_… To tell _you_ that I love **you**.

And I am _torn_…. To **do** what I _have_ to.

To make _you_ **mine**."

_-Secondhand Serenade, Your Call_

* * *

_~Alexander Lightwood~_

**...**

**..**

**.**

"I **have** this _crazy_ dream where **one** _day_ you wake **up** and _realize_ I'm the **one** you've _always_ wanted..."

* * *

**.18.**

**No one noticed the way Alec Lightwood stared at Magnus Bane. **No one but the one who was doing the staring. Alec looked away, biting his lip and flushing as he turned back to his lunch, mentally telling himself that '_No he did _not_ want to stare at that slim figure and no, he did _not_ want to get lost in those endless pools of green and gold…_'

"You're spacing out again."

Alec jumped, nearly falling out of the wooden bench he was sitting on. He blushed as several amused chuckles met his ears, turning to his left side to glare at the tall figure that was sliding into the seat beside him.

"Magnus," He whined, brushing the hair out of his eyes. "Don't _do_ that!"

Magnus shrugged, throwing a grin at him. "I can't help it. You're just so… Jumpy." He reached over to poke his sweater covered side, sending a quiet shriek from his lips as he flinched away. Magnus raised an eyebrow as if saying, _'See what I mean?'_ before turning to his lunch, picking up a ketchup drizzled french-fry and popping it into his mouth. **Alec tried not to stare**.

"So blue eyes," The taller teen drawled, licking at his fingers before turning golden eyes towards him. "Who's the lucky guy?"

Alec paled. "W-what?"

He waved a slim ring-laden hand in the air. "Well, _that_ look –which has been going on for several weeks, oh don't look so surprised I _do_ pay attention you know- is the look of someone who's got a little crush~" He waggled his thin perfect eye brows and Alec wondered how everything Magnus did managed to hypnotize him. "So, I ask again, who's the lucky guy?"

Alec desperately searched for an answer, mouth opening helplessly as his face turned an impressive fire truck red. "I-"

"Hey Sparkles! Stop bothering Frowny over there. You know he's not good with words."

Magnus scoffed, rolling his eyes as another tray plunked down onto the table, a blonde boy with golden eyes placing himself across from Alec on the circular table. "At least he's more literate than a cave man, oh wait, that's an insult to the cave men."

Jace smirked. "Now, now. No need to be jealous of my superior intellect."

Alec raised an eyebrow. "Superior?"

Magnus scoffed. "Intellect?"

"Oh, is this a 'mimic everything Jace says' day? Because I'm afraid I'm totally unprepared." A long black curly haired girl with dark eyes took her place near Magnus, her stilettos clicking as she settled.

"Hello darling, so glad you could join us. We needed some more man power to ward this," He waved his hands at Jace in mock disgust. "Away from infecting our brains with its stupidity."

Isabelle laughed, tossing her head back. "Wow Jace, it seems you've been upped to a disease, quite the improvement."

He threw a glare at her before turning back to the taller teen. "Oh _very_ clever, Bane." Jace scoffed, tossing his head. "Is that your way of saying I'm sexy and you want a piece of this?"

Magnus wrinkled his nose shuddering in horror. "Only in your _dreams_ blondie."

"You know, if you keep this up people are going to start saying that you _do_ like each other and this is just your emotionally stunted way of flirting." An amused voice spoke, a boy with mousy brown hair and a pair of black glasses perched on his nose sliding in beside Isabelle.

"Oh god!" Magnus cried, raising his hands to his face. "Alec make it stop!" He turned pleading eyes on the blue eyed boy who'd been watching amusedly, chewing on his fries.

Jace eyed that flamboyant teen with distaste. "I've got to agree with Sparkles on this one, that's just not going to happen. _Ever_." He shuddered.

"Disappointed?" The green eyed boy asked with a smirk. At the incredulous look Jace gave him Alec couldn't help it, he burst into laughter, shoulders shaking as he raised a hand to his mouth, struggling to hold in his chuckles. Magnus turned toward him, placing a miffed look on his face as he sniffed haughtily, raising his chin. "And _what's_ so funny?" This only made Alec laugh harder and soon enough Magnus' stoic façade was slipping, a grin curving his lips upwards and making his eyes dance with amusement.

"You two are priceless." Alec spoke breathlessly, face flushed.

"Glad to be of amusement, dear." Magnus purred, lifting another fry to his lips. "Especially if it means you laugh like that," he added. "You should really do that more often."

Alec blushed, biting his lip as he ducked his head.

"Sorry I'm late!" A flustered looking red-haired girl plopped down beside Jace, face flushed as if she had been running.

"Clary!" Jace cried, throwing an arm around her small shoulders and pouting. "They've been making fun of me."

She smiled amusedly. "I'm sure they wouldn't make fun of you if you didn't tattle tell on them talk the time."

Jace cast her an insulated look, pulling back to cross his arms over his chest. "I do not!"

Clary nodded a small smile on her face. "Oh yes you do. But," She amended, leaning forward to peck his lips. "It's rather cute."

"I am not cute woman!" Jace growled, dragged her closer and placing a firm kiss on her lips.

Simon scoffed, rolling his eyes. "You two are making me sick."

Magnus nodded. "I have to agree with what's-his-face over there, I'm trying to eat."

Jace pulled back to smirk at the teen. "Jealous Sparkles?"

"Of course not! I've got Alec!" Magnus threw an arm around the pale teen's shoulders, drawing him close to his side and nuzzling into his neck. "Isn't that right, lovely?"

Alec sputtered; face flaming as he pushed away out of Magnus' grasp, pushing back his disappointment and the immediate miss of warmth. He threw a glare at the taller teen, fixing his sweater. "You" He stabbed a finger at the teen, glowering. "A-are a…" **Alec scrambled for a word to describe the boy next to him other than,** _beautiful, gorgeous, flawless_- He cleared his throat embarrassedly. "Well you're not nice." He crossed his arms over his chest.

Magnus burst into laughter, leaning over to place a quick kiss on the shorter boy's cheek. "You are so adorable!"

Alec flushed, fighting back the initial reaction of- _Oh my god! He just kissed me! He kissed my cheek! His lips. On my cheek!_ Really he ought to be used to this by now. **Magnus was always doing little things that gave Alec false hope.** Always giving him mixed signals that had him scrambling around for a solution.

"If you two are quite done I believe we have a party to discuss." Isabelle pointed out, placing a fork full of spaghetti in her mouth and delicately chewing.

Alec groaned at this, Simon reacting in much the same way while the rest of them grinned.

"Well," Magnus started. "First things, first. Who's driving with who?"

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

_~Three Years Ago~_

.**15**.

_Okay. _Alec coached, leaning his head into his locker ignoring all the strange looks he got from the students mingling about before first period. _You can do this. Just tell him straight out and then… Run away._ He sighed, shaking his head. _No way is this going to work._

"Hey blue eyes."

"Ah!" Alec jumped, banging his head into the upper part of his locker and cursing when he felt a sharp pain on his forehead.

"Hey," Magnus said worriedly as he turned towards him. "Are you- Alec! You're bleeding!"

"What?" The blue eyed teen muttered, lifting a hand to the spot just above his eyes, wincing when it touched the spot he'd hit and frowning when it came away red. "Ow."

Magnus chuckled as he rummaged in his bad for a moment before pulling out a small square of what looked like cotton ball, stepping forward to gently press it against the small wound.

Alec hissed, stiffening and Magnus immediately eased the pressure, eyes glancing at him sadly. "Sorry."

"It's fine." The blue eyed boy mumbled, blushing as his best friend leaned closer, the feel of the cotton gone for a moment before pressing back.

"It's shallow." Magnus proclaimed, leaning back and pulling his hand away along with the cotton. "Should stop bleeding in a minute or two." He tossed the dirtied cotton into the garbage a few feet away from them before rummaging in his zipper and patch covered shoulder bag, pulling out a lime green sparkly bandade.

"I know it's not your style," Magnus murmured, leaning forward to press it over the cut. "But it's all I have."

Alec touched the surface of it once he'd pulled away, smiling shyly. "No." He shook his head. "It's fine. Thank you."

Magnus smiled back brightly, reaching out to ruffle his already messy hair. "No problem, blue eyes. Now let's get to class before we're late."

Blue eyes widened comically before Alec picked up his own bag, placing it over his shoulder hurriedly as they began walking down the almost empty hall, Magnus' laughter ringing off the walls.

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

_Alright Lightwood._ Alec thought to himself firmly. _Now's your chance. Do it now right before the bell rings and then you can make a quick escape without worrying about coming up with an excuse to get away. _He nodded once to himself, his hair moving at the movement and showing a slice of lime green on his forehead before swishing back to cover it.

"Magnus-" Alec began, turning towards his best friend.

"That boy has a crush on you." Magnus interrupted eyes unreadable as he stuck a fork with a slice of peach on the end in his mouth.

"W-What?" The shorter of the two stammered, face blazing as his eyes widened into saucers. _D-Did he just…?_

"That boy." Magnus jerked his head, stabbing another slice of fruit. "Has a crush. On you." He added as if it occurred to him that it may not have been clear the first time.

_Ohmygod! _Alec internally panicked. _He did he did! He just- But how? How did he know? I've kept it from him for a year and he never said anything!_

"I… How?"

Magnus turned unimpressed green eyes to him, smirking. "Alec, he's been watching you from afar like a love sick puppy for the past _week_. You may be oblivious to what people think of you but I'm certainly not." Magnus sniffed as if someone had just insulted him all the while keeping those gleaming eyes and Cheshire cat smirk on him.

"O-Oh." Alec said lamely, face flushing in embarrassment as he looked down at his tray, shoulders hunching.

"So what do you think? Of the boy." Magnus added before his friend could ask what he meant.

"Oh." Alec blinked, looking towards the boy the green eyed teen had been talking about. He was cute, the shorter teen guessed, with white-blonde hair and piercing black eyes. When he saw Alec's eyes on him he smiled, revealing a set of perfect white teeth. Alec blushed looking down. He was cute but… He was not what he wanted. "He's okay I guess."

"Hmmm." Magnus nodded, taking a bite out of his pizza. "I thought so." At the blue eyed boy's questioning glance he continued, waving an uninterested hand. "He didn't seem like your type."

"My type?" Alec repeated.

"Mmm." The taller boy nodded, taking a slow sip of his water. "Your type. I figured you'd be into the more…" Magnus frowned, tilting his head to the side. "Studious ones?"

Alec blinked, holding back a frown. "Oh…"

"Anyways!" Magnus drew his hands together with a clap that had several eyes flitting to them. "About that English assignment beak-nose gave us…"

And like that Alec was out to his best friend without even having to out himself.

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

Upon questioning later when he'd become braver and more sure of himself Magnus would answer, "I knew a little before you realized it I guess. I just didn't want to scare you off. So I waited until you were comfortable telling me." After _further_ question as to just _how_ he knew Magnus would reply with a smirk. "_Please_, lovely. I'm not oblivious. I know how to read people and I know how to see what they want even before they realize they want it." **And Alec would frown to himself because Magnus was wrong, or at least he was when it came to him**. Not about being gay, oh no that was very true. But about his 'type'. Yes, the studious ones were probably the safer bet but Alec found himself drawn to- _loud wardrobes full of glitter and color and confident strides with teasing remarks and bold glances and laughter with green/gold that shone like the sun- _the exact opposite.

(**Not that he would ever tell Magnus that**.)

* * *

**.18.**

"Alec, darling." Magnus frowned from his place in front of the large body-length mirror. "Aren't you excited even the slightest bit?"

The teen in question sighed from his place sprawled out among the yellow canary sheets of Magnus' bed, rolling over onto his side to stare at his best friend's back. "I don't like parties, Mags. You know that. They make me uneasy." **Plus, he added silently, it means I'll have to watch from the sidelines as you dance and touch and laugh with every guy but me.**

The green eyed teen turned to him, placing his ring-bare hands on his slender hips which were cocked to the side. "But you'll be with me and the group." He stated, confusion swimming in his green orbs. "How can you be uneasy?"

Alec sighed. "Because I'm always the one who has to watch over everything. Between Izzy and Jace and the rest of you and making sure you don't do anything extraordinarily stupid, I just… Don't have time to 'have fun'." **Liar.** A voice hissed in the back of his mind. **Just tell him the truth… **Alec pushed that thought back.

"I'll make you a deal." Magnus began meeting his blues with his own greens. "I won't drink at _all _tonight and I'll help you keep everyone in line and stay with you if you_ promise_ to let me help you have fun. Deal?"

The teen thought about it for a moment, indecision clearly displayed in his furrowed brows and bitten lip. _Maybe if I…_ _But what does he classify as 'fun'?_ Alec thought back on every party he'd ever been to and remembered- _A flash of purple in the crowd, it parts and he stops as his chest tightens. _**Magnus is there alright but he's not alone.**_ A tall frame stands out in the lighting and Alec walks towards it only to see that his best friend is kind of busy at the moment with some blonde haired boy. _**He glimpses a pair of boys on a leather couch and looks away quickly when he sees the way they're intertwined.**_ Sharing kisses and laughter together.-_ Alec shakes his head, swallowing back the lump in his throat.

"Alright." He finally mutters glancing at the floor.

"Excellent." Magnus draws his hands together, a grin changing his face into one of the most beautiful expressions Alec has ever seen. "Now, love, your turn to get dressed up."

Alec sighs, reluctantly dragging himself up from the comfortable surface, making his way over discarded clothes and books to stop in front of his best friend.

"Okay you know the drill, lovely. Strip and then I'll give you your clothes." Magnus gestured to the lime green padded chair in front of the electric blue vanity that was overflowing with make-up.

Alec flushes, ducking his head as the taller of the two darts towards the closet, mumbling words to himself. Embarrassment sings through his veins as he tugs his faded gray sweater over his head before reaching down to unbutton and un-zipper his jeans, pushing the fabric down to fall to the floor.

"Damn Alec," Magnus whistled, eyes roving his body playfully and making the blue eyed teen flush, wrapping his arms around his chest. "And you say you're not attractive."

"Because I'm not." Alec mumbled, dipping his head and biting his lip.

"Sweetheart," Magnus said, stopping front of the blushing teen and reaching out a hand to tilt his chin up, serving to make Alec blush even harder. "I can _promise_ you that you are." At his skeptic expression Magnus took another step forwards, pressing his lips to his best friend's forehead. **"You're beautiful and you shouldn't let yourself think otherwise."**

Alec sucked in a sharp breath. _What are you doing?! He just called you beautiful. Magnus. Called _you_. Beautiful! Stop standing around like an idiot and _**do **_something!_

"I- Th-Thank you."

Magnus chuckled. "No thanks needed, darling. Now! Put these clothes on and meet me at the transformation station." He winked playfully as he placed the clothes in the almost naked teen's arms before bounding away.

"The transformation station?" He had to ask.

"Oh don't be such a skeptic." Magnus called. "It's better than, 'The place where I shall force my best friend to endure –oh the _horror_!- a make over!" He gave a mock gasp before turning back to the vanity. "Now get dressed! We have to be there in two hours."

Alec pulled on the black tank top, frowning slightly when the collar dipped down to reveal his collarbone before pulling on the forest green skinny jeans that had pale blue lining the seams in zigzag patterns. Next was the frosty blue belt with green studs which he quickly put on, letting one side slide down his thigh like Magnus had coached him many times before. He gave himself a once over to make sure everything was in place before he made his way over to the chair, sitting down as Magnus fussed over what looked like several colored pots.

"Alrigh-" Magnus blinked, staring at Alec in surprise.

"What?" He tugged on the end of the tank top, shifting uncomfortably as he dipped his head.

"You look great love." Magnus finally said, turning the chair that the teen was sitting on to face away from the mirror. "Now I'll make you look even greater!"

Alec sighed closing his eyes before he was even asked to as Magnus neared him with a blue pencil. "Great." He mumbled to himself. _Great_.

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

"…You know I have a question." Magnus murmured sometime later as he was dusting Alec's eyelids with silver eye shadow.

"Hmmm?"

"Why do you let me do this and never your sister?"

"Because I trust you." Alec stated simply. **And because anything that makes you smile like that is worth the discomfort,** he thought as he opened his eyes.

"There!" Magnus turned the chair around. "What do you think?"

As always Alec was hit with the question of, was that really him? The boy in the mirror had large blue eyes that seemed bottomless, light blue liner highlighting the darker rings of blue near his iris. Pale silver dusted the creases and upper part of his eye lids, a small swirl of it curling out from the corner of his outer eye, almost unnoticeable. His hair was still as messy as ever but Magnus had somehow manipulated it to look like he'd spent hours making it that way, the strands of unruly hair giving off a sexy bedhead look.

"It's amazing, Mags." Alec replied honestly, tearing himself away from his reflection. Magnus beamed, teeth flashing in the light before he went to rummage in his closet once more, holding up a black jacket with a satisfied cry.

"Here," He held it out towards the shorter teen and Alec took it, giving it a once over.

It was black yes, but if you looked closely there were silver threads woven around the pockets, sleeves and collar that flashed in the right light. The sleeves bunched up at the elbows, showing off his muscular arms as he pulled it on.

"Gorgeous." The green eyed teen nodded. "Now for my turn."

Alec made his way back over to the bed, watching his best friend scramble around with a small smile. _Yes._ **Anything was worth it to see him smile like that.**

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

The party was as they always were. Crowded. Full of beer and drugs. And of course, people fucking in nearly every dark corner and room. …Alec hated it. It was in these places where he had his heart stomped on over and over again. It was in these places where the truth really hit him and that evil little voice whispered those heartbreakingly true words that **Magnus could **_**never**_** want him.**

"Alright, darling." Magnus grinned. "Are you ready to have fun?"

_You're doing this for him. It makes him happy. You're doing this for him. It makes him happy. You're doing this-_ "Yes." Alec nodded shakily.

The green eyed teen took his hand in his, leading him through the crowd and… Into the dance floor. Alec's eyes widened in horror.

"Magnus!" He struggled to pull his hand out of his best friend's grip, eyes scanning the room for an escape.

"Yes?" The taller teen replied in a sing song voice.

"A-Are we _dancing_?"

Magnus glanced at him over his barely covered shoulder looking surprised. "Of course."

They stopped in the middle of the moving crowd, bodies closing in around them as soon as they stopped moving.

Alec gulped as the taller teen turned to him, not releasing his hand. "Bu-But-"

"Alec." Magnus interrupted with wide pleading eyes, glancing down at him through his lashes. "_Please_?"

"I-I-" The blue eyed teen was at crossroads. Dancing with Magnus was once of his deepest fantasies. To be able to be close to him like he'd seen others, to have his best friend's slender frame pressed against his, grinding and moving together with the excuse of music- Well he'd wished for it many times over. But at the same time… What if he slipped up? What if Magnus saw the way Alec looked at him? **How he longed to be close?** _It may be the only chance you get. _A voice murmured. Alec's eyes narrowed, clenching his jaw as he met Magnus' eyes. "Alright."

Magnus grinned pulling the shorter teen closer as he began swaying to the music, rolling his hips and letting his torso carry through with the movement.

"Wai-Wait!" Alec squeaked out, immediately cursing himself when that delicious image ceased, his secret love pausing to glance at him worriedly. "I-I Just… I don't know how to dance." Which was a lie because he certainly _**did**_ know how to dance due to several nights of being so _**damn frustrated **_at having to watch his love throw himself at people who _**weren't him**_ that he finally gave in to the offers of dancing and drinking and apparently, according to several boys, he was _**extremely **_good at it. **Not that Magnus had ever noticed what with him being occupied otherwise.** Alec nearly cringed at the bitterness held within that thought.

"Oh." Magnus blinked before sending him a reassuring smile, taking another step closer to place his hands on Alec's hips. "Then I'll teach you."

_Oh my god. _Alec held back a flinch at the warmth those hands created, flushing brightly as he struggled not to let Magnus know just what that simple touch did to him. "O-Okay."

Magnus grinned.

"Alright, love. So first, you need to listen to the music. Get a taste of the beat and then let it roll up through your body." Alec closed his eyes as if he was doing just that, forcing himself to take several moments to satisfy the green eyed teen, pretending to get ahold of something he already felt.

"Now," Magnus murmured, sliding his hands slightly along his hips, pushing them gently side to side. "Let your body move with it. Don't think about it, just go with it."

Alec held back for several moments, relishing in the feel of Magnus touching him before beginning to move on his own, trying not to show just how experienced he was at this.

"Good!" Magnus praised, a smile in his voice that had Alec opening his eyes, his breath nearly leaving him when he saw how close his best friend was. "You're a natural, love. Now I'm going to join in." He warned, beginning to rock his hips as well, rolling his body to the beat.

Alec hesitantly let his arms slide up to wrap around the taller boy's neck, growing more confident at Magnus' encouraging glance. He moved ever so slightly closer as he slowly let his past experiences take over him. If this were a stranger Alec would have already been going full out, grinding harshly into hips and tangling his fingers into silky hair. But this wasn't. This was Magnus. **And Magnus was completely different from those people.**

He sucked in a sharp breath when his own grinding hips met his best friend's, giving Magnus' hair a sharp tug on reflex. His eyes widened at the soft moan he got in reply. He knew Magnus' hair was sensitive from the way he'd always loved having it stroked and petted when they were kids but this… This was completely different information. He gave the silken strands another sharp tug, tangling his fingers in the un-gelled back.

Magnus let out a ragged groan, bucking his hips down into Alec's and sending an answering moan from the blue eyed teen.

"Alec," Magnus shuddered. "If you don't stop that I'll-"

Alec did it again, the music and cover of the crowd and dark lighting making him brave as he finally let his body move to its full potential. Magnus glanced at him in shock.

"You lied." Magnus murmured into his ear, voice deep and causing goose bumps to erupt on his skin, a soft shiver going throughout his body. "You have done this before."

"Oh." Alec laughed breathlessly, biting back a shudder as those lips dipped to brush ever so slightly against his jaw. His neck and jaw were always his weakness. "Mu-Must have slipped my mind."

Magnus snorted, letting his arms wrap further around his slender waist, leaning his head against the blue eyed teen's shoulder. "Yeah that's it."

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

Alec didn't know how long they danced like that. Moving with one another and letting the soft moans and groans slide. **They were so close and yet Alec longed to be closer.**

Tanned hands ran up and down his waist, slender fingers slipping underneath the tank top every now and then to caress teasingly. Alec let his fingers tug and play with silken strands in reply, occasionally sliding his hands down the smooth skin of Magnus' reviled back before sliding back up again.

That was another thing that was killing Alec. Magnus' clothes. His best friend wore a lime green shirt that dropped off one shoulder, scooping down in the back to just stop above his shoulder blades. The front dipped down in a soft oval, the bottom barely covering his stomach as it closed in to cling to his skin. On his long legs were leather jeans that hugged his hips and thighs in a way that should have been illegal. A pair of electric blue shoes were on his feet, the slightly raised heal earning the taller teen another inch or so of height.

**It was completely and utterly killing Alec with want.**

Soft lips began trailing up and down his neck, sending soft moans tumbling from his throat as shivers of pleasure worked their way up and down his spine. By the way Magnus chuckled he'd realized Alec's weakness.

The blue eyed teen couldn't really understand what was going on, the only thing he knew was that he wanted this fantasy to last as long as possible. **And that he wanted more.** _More more more more more-_

Alec stretched his neck out, giving the taller boy more skin to touch, sighing his appreciation when the green eyed teen obliged. As he was running his fingers down to stroke at the reviled skin at his secret love's waist he was vaguely aware of a song change.

_-But baby there you go again; there you go again making me love you-oo. Yeah I stopped using my head using my head let all go-oo.-_

A tan hand slipped underneath his shirt, trailing up to trace his ribs, the other curling around his thigh to pull his closer, a leather clad thigh pushing in-between his legs to grind into the growing bulge in his pants. Alec shuddered, panting as he arched his back, grinding back into that delicious friction. A growl answered him in turn.

_-Got you stuck on my body, on my body like a tattoo-oo. And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid, crawling back to you-oo.-_

Purple and silver flecked nails dug into the skin of his hips and Alec moaned desperately into Magnus' ear, face flushed as he dragged his hands down the green eyed teen's back.

_-So I cross my heart and hope to die-ie. That I'll only stay with you one more ni-iii-ght. And I know I said it a million ti-iii-mes. But I'll only stay with you one more ni-iii-ght.-_

Soft lips traveled up over his jaw and Alec shuddered, whimpering as they went everywhere _but_ his lips. A soft chuckle sounded against his cheek before a soft kiss was placed against the corner of his lips in appeasement.

_-Trying to tell you no, but my body keeps on telling you yes. Trying to tell you stop but your lipstick got me so out of breath.-_

A nagging thought tugged at his mind as he raised his head, silently begging for those lips to fall onto his. _…No… …Sto…_

_-I'd be waking up in the morning probably hating myself. And I'd be waking up feeling satisfied but guilty as hell, eh.-_

_**STOP!**_ Alec stiffened, eyes jolting open in shock as those lips just barely brushed his. Green eyes fluttered open seconds later in confusion to meet horror filled blues. _Oh my god- Did I just? Did we almost- Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!_

The shorter teen wrenched himself free, staggering back into a couple that was currently making out, mumbling an apology as he kept eye contact with those surprised green eyes.

"I…" Alec trailed off, his stomach rolling as he thought about what he'd just done. What he'd _almost_ just done. "I have to go." He turned, bolting through the crowd for the door, his face turning green.

_-…And I know I said it a million ti-iii-mes. But I'll only stay with you one more ni-iii-ght. Uh uh, yeah baby give me one more ni-iii-ght.-_

**Alec just barely made it outside before heaving into the bushes violently.**

* * *

"It's a _shame_… that it **had** to _be_ **this** _way_.

It's not _enough_ to say _I'm_ **sorry**.

It's _not _**enough** to_ say_ **I'm **_sorry_.

Maybe I'm to **blame**.

Or _maybe_ **we're** the _same_.

But either _way_ I can't **breathe**.

_Either_ **way** I _can't _**breathe**.

.

All I _had_ to _say_ is **goodbye**.

_We're_ **better** _off_ this **way**.

.

I'm alive, but _I'm_ losing _all_ my **drive**.

Cause _everything_ we've been **through** and _everything_ about **you**…

Seemed _to_ be a **lie**.

A _guiltless_ **twisted** _lie_.

It made _me_ learn to _hate_ **you**.

Or _hate_ **myself** for _letting_ it **pass** _by_.

.

And every, _everything_ isn't **only**…

_What_ it **seems.**

So _hold_ **these**, _words_ that you **never** _told_ **me**.

.

Take my _pain_ **away**.

_Tear_ it **out**.

Tell me I _was_ **wrong**.

_Tell_ me I **was** _wrong_.

_-Secondhand Serenade, Goodbye_

* * *

**.18.**

Alec stared blankly at the light blue walls of his room, his mind a whirlwind that surrounded one person.

_**He lied.**__ He said he'd stay with me the whole night but he lied._ His lower lip trembled, a single tear falling from his eye.

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

He'd gone back in after several moments of taking a few deep breaths, calming his head and stomach and realizing how much of an ass he must have looked, leaving Magnus there so suddenly.

He turned back to the door, pushing his way back inside the crowded house, eyes searching for his best friend frantically, pushing away the memories of what had occurred just moments before. _What if he's angry? What if he's somewhere drinking and wondering what he did wrong? What if-_

And Alec stopped, eyes zeroing in on the tall form of the boy he'd fallen in love with, laughing humorously to himself as he forces himself to watch. **To see**. Because this is Magnus we're talking about. Magnus who never worries about what people think about him (or at least not anymore). Who moves on in such a short amount of time that it sometimes gives Alec whiplash just trying to keep up. This is Magnus, who never keeps his word. **Who's always letting Alec down.**

Yes, Alec sees.

He walks out, throwing his keys into the car so Magnus can drive home (he's not that much of a bastard). Pulling the zipper of Magnus' jacket up and pushing his hands into the side pockets, beginning the long trug home and completely forgetting to check on his siblings.

**He needed the time to think.**

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

He looks at himself in the mirror, noting the bags under his eyes with little care. It's not the bags he's worried about; oh no those are perfectly normal and explanatory. It's the possible redness around his eyes that he's worried about. He looks closely, studying from every angle (because he hangs out with people who can tell from 100 feet away whether a bag is really Gucci) leaning back once he's satisfied. He looks perfectly normal. As if he hadn't cried all night until he'd finally fallen asleep. No one will know. No one will **ever **know.

…**He doesn't know whether he's thankful or if this just makes him want to cry all over again.**

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

Magnus picks him up. "Avoiding me Lightwood?" He replies with a raised eyebrow. "Or are you just so impatient to get to school that you couldn't wait for me to wake up?"

And Alec smiles against his will, getting in the passenger seat and struggling to hide his panic. _Because what if his best friend brings up last night? What if he wants to talk about it-_

Magnus starts talking about how the teachers are trying to kill them with homework this year, despite the fact that they were going to graduate and can't they just give them a break already?!

Alec murmurs his consent, spacing out. **He can't help but notice the hickey that's just barely covered by Magnus' pale blue scarf.**

* * *

_~Four Years Ago~_

**.14.**

It was Magnus' Birthday. Alec had stayed home from school, telling his best friend that he'd gotten the stomach bug, sneaking to the other boy's house to set up with Magnus' Mother.

Lilly was a nice Mother. Always having something funny to say to lighten your mood. Alec couldn't remember how many times he'd come over after being yelled at harshly by his Father seeking comfort when his own Mother was nowhere to be found, off on business. Every time Lilly had welcomed him in with open arms, offering him some delicious smelling food and chatting with him and Magnus as they ate. When Alec went home he'd forgotten all about what he was sad about.

They'd blown up balloons, taped streamers to the walls and ceiling of every color they could find at the store, baking a chocolate cake and painting it with chocolate frosting before setting several chocolate covered strawberries on top, just the way Magnus liked.

"Oh shoot!" The elder Bane exclaimed. At Alec's questioning glance she smiled apologetically. "Sorry Alec but I forgot the ice cream, I've got to go pick some up. Can you finish setting up for me dear?"

Alec nodded, smiling and wishing her good luck as she grabbed the car keys, leaving through the front door with a quick wave. **That would be the last time Alec Lightwood would ever see Lilly Bane.**

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

Alec waited in the living room where everything was set up, shifting nervously as he glanced at the clock. It had been almost an hour since Magnus' Mom and left and she still wasn't back. And to make matters worse he could see the bus outside, dropping his best friend off.

The blue eyed boy sighed, straightening his shoulders. _You can do this. You just have to make it until Lilly comes back._

The door opened with a small creak.

"Mom!" Magnus called. "I'm home! Do you mind if I go over to Alec's? He said he was si-"

Magnus stopped in the doorway, blinking in shock as he took in the decorated room.

"Umm," Alec smiled timidly. "Surprise?"

"Alec you did this?"

"Well your Mom helped too but, yeah." He shifted nervously, glancing shyly up at his secret crush. "Do you like it?"

Magnus made a sound of disbelief, entering the room. "Like it?! I love it!" He grinned, wrapping the smaller boy in a hug. "Thank you!"

Alec grinned, blushing as he hugged the green eyed boy back.

"Where's Mom?" Magnus asked once they'd parted, glancing around the room.

"Oh well she went to go get ice cream-"

A sharp knock sounded from the door and Magnus turned towards the front hall, Alec following warily behind. Lilly had a key so she wouldn't knock-

"Hello?" Magnus asked, opening the door to gaze up at the police officer in confusion.

"Hey kid." The officer seemed to try to smile, making it seem more like an pained grimace. "Is your Dad home?"

Magnus crossed his arms, jutting out a hip as he raised an eyebrow. "I don't have one. My Mom is gone at the moment but she should be back soon-"

"Kid." The officer interrupted, looking uncomfortable and extremely sorry. "Your Mother… She was in a car crash. She didn't survive the trip to the hospital."

Magnus' tanned face turned an alarming shade of pale. "What?"

"Your Mother… She's dead."

Magnus shook, and the look of utter hopelessness on his face shook Alec from the frozen form he'd been in before. He went forward quickly, wrapping his arms around his crush and giving the Officer a sad smile. "Thank you for telling us."

The Officer nodded. "Do you want me to call anyone or…?"

"No." Alec shook his head, glancing worriedly at Magnus who seemed to be frozen. "I'll call my Mom in a little bit, we'll be fine."

The Officer nodded before making his way off the porch, sending them a sad look. "I'm sorry."

Alec shook his head, pain welling in his heart for his best friend. "Yeah, me too."

He gently closed the door, leading his crush up into his room, avoiding the party streamers and presents.

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

After quietly explaining the situation to his Mother and her agreeing to letting him stay with Magnus for the night he went to his best friend's room, entering hesitantly.

"Magnus?" Alec questioned uncertainty. "My Mom said I can stay tonight if you want me to?"

The green eyed boy's form stayed still for a moment as he sat down beside him, biting his lip uncertainty as he placed a hand on his crush's shoulder. "Mags?"

"It's my fault she's dead."

Alec sucked in a sharp breath at the dead tone of his friend's voice. "No! No Magnus you can't believe that! It's not your fault that that guy hit her car-"

"No. But it is my fault she was driving in the first place." Magnus laughed bitterly, turning to look at Alec with pools of green that swam with unshed tears. "You said so. She went to go get ice cream. For _me_."

Alec's eyes softened. "Oh Magnus…" He pulled the green eyes boy into his arms. Magnus lurched forward at the contact, bringing his arms around the smaller boy and sending them back onto the bed as he sobbed into Alec's shoulder.

"M-My fault-t… A-All my f-fault…"

"No… No Magnus… You're wrong… Shhhh… It's gonna be okay Mags, I'm here... I'm here..."

That night Alec fell asleep with his newly broken hearted best friend, his own tears soaking the comforter as he whispered words of comfort and love into Magnus' ears. _Magnus would not remember the way Alec kissed his forehead that night just before he let himself drift to sleep, nor would he hear the whispered, "I love you." That was whispered so quietly it was barely a whisper. _**Magnus would not remember at all. But Alec… Alec would.**

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

That year Magnus moved in with the Lightwood's, taking the room across from Alec's.

* * *

"_There_ **were** _places_ we would **go**, at _midnight_.

There _were_ secrets that_ nobody_ else would **know**.

_There's_ a **reason** but I _don't_ **know**_ why_, I _don't_ **know** _why_...

I thought they _all_ belonged to **me**.

_Who's_ **that** _girl_?

Where's _she_ **from**?

_No_ she **can't** _be_ the **one**, that you _want_, that has **stolen** my _world_.

It's not **real**!

It's _not_ right!

It's my **day**!

It's _my_ **night**!

By _the_ **way**...

_Who's_ **that** girl...

Living _my_ **life**.

_Seems_ like **everything's** the _same_, **around** _me_.

Then I look _again_ and everything has **changed**.

I'm _not _**dreaming** so I _don't_ **know** _why_, I _don't_ **know** _why_... She's **everywhere** I _want_ to **be**.

.

I'm the _one_ that made you **laugh**...

Who _made_ you **feel** who _made_ you **sad**.

I'm not **sorry**.

For _what_ we **did**,

For who we **are**.

I'm _not_ **sorry** _I'm_ **not** _her_...

-_Hilary Duff, Who's That Girl_

* * *

**.18.**

"Everyone, this is Will and Jem." Magnus grins at the group, and all Alec can do is stare at the entwined hands in front of him.

Isabelle is the first to break the silence, smiling at the two boys. "Hi! I'm Isabelle but call me Izzy, otherwise I'll castrate you!" She beamed before throwing a worried glance at her brother.

Alec didn't notice. To busy staring at his best friend's tanned hand which was **entwined. With. another.**

The other's introduced themselves before only Alec was left. When he remained silent they cast him worried glances.

"Darling?" Magnus asked, concerned as he took in his glazed blue eyes.

"Huh?" Alec blinked shaking his head. "Wha- Oh." He gave the two boys a weak smile. "I'm Alec. Nice to meet you." He glanced up at the boy Magnus was holding hands with and gasped. Right in front of him was a near image of himself.

_**Why? Why can't that be me? Why do you have to chose everyone but me?**_

"I- I'm sorry but I really have to go." He stood up hurriedly, placing his bag on his shoulder and tripping over a chair in his haste. He braced himself, prepared for the hard floor to greet him before a pair of pale arms caught him. Alec sucked in a sharp breath, raising his head blushing when his nose nearly collided with the other boy's.

"I-I'm so sorry!" Alec mumbled, pulling back to ring his hands, blushing horribly as he glanced at the silver haired teen apologetically.

"No problem." The boy smiled. "Happens to me all the time."

The boy named Will snorted and Alec stiffened, shoulders hunching as if to buffer himself from the teen. "Yeah right, Jem. You're so graceful sometimes I wonder if you even touch the ground when you walk."

Jem laughed, a smile curving his lips up into a gentle smile. "It's all in the form, my friend." Alec couldn't help but notice the brief flicker of pain in his silver eyes.

The blue eyed teen glanced at Will and then back at Jem before his eyes widened in understanding. "I'm sorry." He murmured, and when Jem glanced at him it was clear that the teen understood that he wasn't talking about nearly falling on him. _I understand what you're going through._

Jem blinked before smiling sadly, a knowing look in his eyes. "It's really no problem." _Looks like we're in the same boat then._

Alec nodded. "Thank you." _Yes._

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

Isabelle leaned over towards Magnus, covering her mouth with her slender hand. "I think Alec likes him."

No one noticed the slight narrowing of Magnus' eyes nor the tightening of his hands. No one except Will.

"Excellent." Magnus smiled, barely pulling it off.

**~OxoxOxoxO~**

Jem was a good friend. Alec discovered. He was always there to talk if Magnus and Will got on his nerves or if his emotions were just too much- And Alec was always there to do the same for him. They had an understanding. They were alike.

And everyone saw that. He couldn't even remember how many people had told him that they should date or how cute a couple they were. It was when Magnus finally said it with a grin that Alec finally snapped.

"Alec?" Jem murmured surprise evident on his face as he opened the door. "What's wrong-"

Alec flew at him, his lips coming down onto the slightly shorter teen's as they stumbled back into the hallway. "Jem," The taller boy pleaded, raining kisses up and down the shorter's neck. "_Please_."

Jem pulled back, placing his hands on Alec's cheeks to scan his face, eyes softening in understanding as several tears slipped down his pale cheeks. "Alright." He whispered, closing the door gently with his foot and leaning up to kiss away the tears. "Alright."

**Alec stayed the night.**

* * *

_~Five Years Ago~_

**.13.**

Alec didn't know how it happened. One day he was looking at his best friend as _just_ his best friend and the next he was breathless and wondering how one person could be so damn _beautiful_.

**(Looking back on it, it wasn't that surprising given the circumstances. Alec had been realizing he was gay and crushes were normal during this period. However, Alec wasn't one for 'crushes' and he just found himself spiralling deeper and deeper into a love that could never be returned.)**

* * *

**.18.**

Alec rung his hands, looking defeated as he waited for Jem to wake up. _He couldn't **believe** that he'd been **so stupid**- How could he have-_ And then; _**Oh god! What if Magnus finds out?!**_

"Alec," A soft voice murmured from beside him as a pale hand raised to swipe at his cheeks, coming away with several tears. "Stop worrying, if you don't want him to know we won't tell him."

Alec exhaled, shuddering and wiping at his face as he turned to face his recently made friend. "Sorry." He mumbled.

The smaller teen smiled gently. "Don't worry about it." He sat up, rubbing at his eyes and Alec gasped, eyes panic striken as he took in the bruises around his hips and shoulders, along with the small claw marks and hickeys on his neck and chest.

"Oh my god! Jem I'm so sorry I didn't mean-"

"Alec, it's fine really. Besides," Jem gave him a rueful grin. "You don't look like you faired that much better."

Alec blinked in surprise looked down and sucking in a shocked breath. Sure enough there along his chest and hips were bite marks and hickeys. When he shifted his back twinged, causing him to wince. Jem frowned, leaning back and letting out a soft curse. Cold hands **(cold, Magnus' hands weren't cold they were warm-)** traced something on his back and he exhaled a soft hiss in discomfort.

"Damn." Jem frowned. "If anyone should be asking for forgiveness I think it should be me, Alec. I got you deep."

Alec shrugged before laying back down with a sigh. "It's fine really."

Jem joined him, breathing softly.

"We really needed that didn't we?"

The silver haired teen chuckled sadly. "Yeah."

Alec turned his head to look at his friend. "Are you ever going to tell him Jem?"

Jem sighed, gazing at the blue eyed boy beside him. "I dont know. I want Will to be happy and if me staying his friend and just his friend makes him happy then I'll do it."

Alec hummed. "Me too."

It wa silent then, the gentle breathing of the two filling the room before-

"And Jem?"

"Hmmm?"

"If you do anything to hurt Magnus I'll never forgive you."

Jem sighed, closing his eyes once more. "Yeah. The same for me."

* * *

_~Five Years Ago~_

**.13.**

"Magnus is popular isn't he?" Isabelle asked, watching with her brother from their place in the corner of the lunch room as Magnus chatted with a group of kids.

"Yeah." Alec murmured, blushing as he stared at the green eyed boy, his heart pounding in his chest.

"I wonder when he'll get a girlfriend or boyfriend..." The younger girl questioned, almost as if talking to herself.

Alec paled, eyes widening as his chest tightened, his heart pounding for an entirely different reason. "What?!"

Darkened pools of black turned to him and Isabelle blinked, tilting her head and frowning. "C'mon Alec! You can't be that dense. More than half of the girls are trying to get his attention and a good chunk of the boys as well. It's only a matter of time before he gets a boyfriend or girlfriend." She stated this as if it was the most simplest of things in the world. As if saying that the sky was blue or the grass was green.

Alec turned to Magnus again, frowning as he finally let himself see the way the girls blushed and batted their eyelashes, the way the boys grinned and did their best to stand out.

**(And that was the day Alec Lightwood decided to do his best to be everything that Magnus Bane had ever wanted.)**

* * *

**.18.**

"Alec!" Magnus exclaimed, darting over to the blue eyed teen, enveloping him in a bone crushing hug. "Don't do that ever again!" The taller boy pulled back, frowning as he cocked a hip. "Where the hell were you?! God Alec! I thought- I thought that you-" Magnus faltered, his eyes showing the vulnerability that Alec knew he tried so hard to hide.

The shorter teen immediately felt guilt rush through him. Now that he looked closer Magnus had several dark bags under his eyes, barely concealed with make-up. His hair was down and it seemed to have gone through heavy abuse. Large tuffs of hair pointing every which way.

**("M-My fault-t… A-All my f-fault…")**

_And where were you when he was worrying about you? Fucking his boyfriend's best friend. Pathetic. _Alec swallowed heavily. "Magnus I-"

A soft snort of laughter sounded from the side of the room and the blue eyed teen stiffened, turning to the couch to see Will sprawled out as if he belonged there, black hair skillfully tussled in a way that Alec could never pull off and falling into blue eyes that were so much better than his.

Magnus turned to him, hands on hips as he narrowed his eyes. "And _what's_ so funny?" He sounded miffed, angry even, but Alec could see the gleam of playfulness in his eyes, his shoulders immediately relaxing as he faced the other boy.

**(Magnus turned toward him, placing a miffed look on his face as he sniffed haughtily, raising his chin. "And **_**what's**_** so funny?"-)**

A pale jaw clenched in jealousy, hands fisting at his sides.

"Oh come on Mags! You're not his keeper. Give him a break."

A wave of pure animalistic rage washed over him. _Mags? He was letting **him** call him _Mags_?! The name Alec had come up with when they were 12? __**The name only Magnus allowed Alec to use?**_ The hurt faded away leaving only sorrow and heartbreak and his shoulders slumped, a choked sob hitching in the back of his throat before he could stop it. _I see. He really doesn't need me. __**Not like I need him.**_

"Alec?" Magnus murmured worriedly, reaching for his best friend hesitantly only to touch air.

"He's right." Alec mumbled, stoically. "You're not my keeper and I'm not your Mother."

He heard the sharp intake of breath right before a sharp wave of pain crashed down around him at the thought of the heartbroken expression that would surly be on Magnus' face. _Lightwood you idiot._ The sound of footsteps following him stopped and as he climbed the stairs he let one last betrayal -betrayal in his eyes at least- sound down to his secret love's ears. "And I was at Jem's if you must know."

**He barely made it to his room before he broke down.**

* * *

"_What _if I **told **_you _**who **I _really _**was**?

What if I _let _you in on _my _charade?

_What _if I **told **you what was _really _**going **_on_?

No more _masks _and no more _parts _to **play**…

There's so _much _I want to **say**, but _I'm _**so **_scared _to **give **_away_…

Every _little _secret that I _hide _**behind**.

Would you _see _me **differently**?

And would that be _such _a bad _thing_?

I _wonder _what it **would **be _like_…

If I **told **you.

What if _I _told **you **that it's _just _a **front**…

To hide the _insecurities _I **have**?

_And _**what **_if _I **told **_you _that I'm **not **as _strong _as I **like **to _make _**believe **I _am_?"

_-Jason Walker, If I told You_

* * *

**.18.**

**'I'm catching a ride with Jace and Clary, the keys to the car are in the usual spot'**

Alec stared blankly at the piece of paper taped to the kitchen table for a moment before collapsing into one of the wooden stools by the counter. "_Dammit_ Lightwood! Why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut like all the times before?!" He felt irrational tears well up in his eyes right before his vision began to get blurry.

He wished he'd never said those words. Wished he'd stayed at Jem's longer. Wished he wasn't such a coward. Wished that Magnus didn't just think of him as his childhood best friend.

_Wished_ _wished wished wished wished..._ **That's all he ever did anymore.**

* * *

**So before I go into a long paragraph of things I don't even know I'm going to say yet I'd just like to share something Paradox 2.0 wrote back to me after asking her opinion on the two songs including the last song above, **If I Told You by Jason Walker**. She gave me the perfect description of what I was trying to show Alec going through. Here's what she said: **

**"**For some reason, this song has a completely different vibe. It sounds more like a close yet distant love, one that hangs over you and every time you see that person, it's like a blow to your barriers. And you're trying to be strong, keep the feelings inside, the doubts, the nevers, the pleads. But you don't know how much longer you can keep that up. And you're terrified because of that."  
**  
**

***sighs dreamily* I just love that description.^ It's so beautiful...**

**Anyways! *clears throat* Yes I cut this into two parts because it was fucking long and the transition to the next part just wasn't going smoothly since I wanted to give Magnus his own song at the beginning of his POV so yes, this has changed from a one-shot to a two shot. :)**

**With that said... IF YOU GUYS HAVE ANY SONG SUGGESTIONS FOR MAGNUS' POV PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE THEM WITH ME! I COULD REALLY USE THE HELP! Half the reason why this took so long to post was because it spent me hours finding the songs you saw above. -.-' Anything that strikes you as Magnus just tel me and I'll look into it. I'm particularly looking for songs about things changing/heartbreak/confusion and so on... Thanks! :)**

**!**Second part should be up sometime around Saturday, Sunday at the latest**!**

**PlEASE REVIEW! Like I said this was a bitch to write (this is the longest I've ever worked on a one-shot) and I'd really enjoy hearing what you guys think! :)**

**;3**

**~TMTMFD**


	2. AN: I'm A Horrible Author I Know

Hey guys! I know I said that I'd have the next chapter up yesterday but due to my cousins coming down for the weekend (they live a couple hours away) they completely screwed up my writing schedule. And of course, today the bus that I was riding home had problems with the brake and started burning so all my free time to work on it was taken waiting about ten minutes away from my house waiting for another bus to pick me up because I wasn't allowed to walk home. *rolls eyes*

So I apologize for not posting yesterday! It seems that everything and nothing is determined to prove me a liar these days. I shall try to have it up by Friday but seeing as how my schedule has been going lately I don't know if that's going to happen. Again, I am really really REALLY sorry for not updating on time! I hate disappointing you guys but this time it just can't be helped.

**;3**

**~TMTMFD who will completly understand if you guys are angry (even though she is like a wounded puppy when it comes to people being mad at her -.-')**


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